Turning 40 and the Fear of Unfulfilled Potential

Today’s been one of those days that’s hard to shake off. A longtime friend of mine sent me some of his music, and one of the lyrics hit me right in the chest: “I’m turning 40 and none of my dreams came true.” That line stuck with me, and I’ve been thinking about it all day. Maybe it’s because I can relate in a way that’s too real.

I wrestle with my own version of creative mortality. Am I too old to chase this dream? Has my time passed me by? Sometimes, it feels like I’m running out of chances, like I’ve missed my shot. It's easy to look around and wonder if there’s still time to make an impact, or if the window has already closed.

I’ve always known that God used older men and women in powerful ways. I’ve read those stories in the Bible, heard the testimonies of people who achieved great things later in life, and it gives me hope. But, if I’m being honest, sometimes I still doubt whether that’s in the cards for me. Am I too ordinary? Too far along? Maybe I’m not meant for greatness. Maybe I missed the train.

But even with that doubt, there’s something inside of me that refuses to fully give up. I’ve always tried to live with integrity, to be good to people, to do the right thing. I’ve worked hard, loved well, and stayed faithful. But there’s this constant ache in my heart—the fear of dying with all this untapped potential still inside me. I don’t want to leave this world knowing I never gave everything I had to the thing I was meant to do.

This is the kind of struggle no one shows you on Instagram. The doubts. The quiet battles. The days when you feel like you’re holding on to something that feels bigger than you but also too far out of reach. It’s easy to show the highlights, the victories, the progress, but no one talks about the weight of the doubt that can come with pursuing your dreams. Some days, it’s just hard to believe in yourself.

But even in those moments, I know one thing: I can’t be the one to give up on me. No matter how hard it gets, no matter how many times I question everything, I can’t let the fear of failure stop me from trying. I don’t have control over everything that happens, but I do have control over whether or not I show up. I can’t stop. I won’t stop.

God, if you're reading this, my prayer is simple: Let me die empty. Empty of all that you’ve placed inside me. Let me give it all—the talents, the dreams, the potential—so that when I reach the end of my life, I’ll know I didn’t leave anything behind. I gave everything I had. I want to pour out everything that’s been given to me, not just for myself, but for others too.

It’s easy to feel like I’m running out of time, but I know deep down, it’s not about age. It’s about staying faithful, staying persistent, and staying open to what God is still trying to do in me. I don’t know how the story ends, but I can’t let doubt stop me from writing the next chapter.

So, if you’re reading this and you feel the same way, like there’s more inside of you that hasn’t been realized yet, don’t give up. Don’t let the years or the doubts make you think it’s too late. Keep going. The world still needs your gift, your voice, your dreams.

And maybe, just maybe, the best is still yet to come.